• I find it interesting that I love forgiveness and hate asking for it

    • Kim Knoll

      Dwight, I think when we hate asking for it, it is pride and we need to search ourselves and realize that is happening.  It is hard sometimes, you are right.

  • Weird, no way to reply to you Kim:

    Oddly I’ve realized two different types of “hating it” (which might both stem from pride):
    1)When I don’t think I need forgiveness (proud self-righteousness perhaps.)
    2)When I know I need it (I’m not sure. I don’t think these occasions are due to embarrassment that I’m not righteous, but I can’t think of another reason.)

    My resistance to asking feels a little different in both cases. Sometimes I’m in category 1 or 2 and have no problem with asking for forgiveness. 

    • Kim

      Dwight, I think you are right on.  

      It think it could be pride and shame.  Although shame can be prideful.  
      When I talked with my clients we often differentiated the difference between guilt and shame.  Guilt is something we did (behavior) and can express and ask for forgiveness openly.  Shame (not of God you may say) is when “I” as a person am wrong and from that feeling of “I am not a good person”, comes the idea that it is then hard to ask for forgiveness.    
      Interesting conversation.  🙂  Thanks Thomas for getting us thinking 🙂 

  • Judi Huck

    Thomas, I agree with the first premise. The key word is willingness, which demonstrates a sense of care toward fellow community members.

    I do not agree, however, with the second premise. I believe care can be demonstrated without actual wrongdoing, hence no need to apologize for anything specific. In certain circumstances, I’ve seen community members push others to think differently without crossing the line and insulting/directly challenging each other. 

    On the contrary, sense of community stems from culture and shared or relatable experience. Although conflict can bring people together if it ends in a positive light, it should not be a prerequisite for developing a rich sense of community.

    • Hey Judi, I definitely appreciate your perspective. And I certainly don’t want to encourage people to “pick fights” just for the sake of stirring things up. At the same time, especially in business communities, I am more afraid of the other extreme… preventing anything from ever happening that *would* stir things up. So, I still stand by my premise that there still might not be a true community until somebody has apologized to someone. I honestly cannot think of a single strong community I have participated in or belonged to where this has never happened.